


I Can't Fake

by skintightsocks



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-13
Updated: 2012-03-13
Packaged: 2017-11-03 15:05:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/382705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skintightsocks/pseuds/skintightsocks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What, you don't roll around with all your clothes on when you're having sex?" Darren asks, and Chris snorts into his shoulder. "Because that's, like, the only way I'll do it. Either roll or go home."</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can't Fake

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the song "On Top" by The Killers. Fic was written for [mass-romantic's](http://mass-romantic.tumblr.com/) prompt, "a fic where Darren pops an inappropriate boner during TFT filming," and based slightly off of Chris's interviews about filming that scene where he talks about not being allowed to wear a tank-top and how they "kissed and rolled around a bit."

"I work out," Chris says with a pout, bouncing his water bottle on his knee.

"You do," Darren agrees, trying to figure out where he wrote that note in the script about what to do with his face in this scene.

"I could bench press three of you," Chris continues, eyebrows furrowed.

"Uhh, maybe not exactly--"

"Pale used to be the style, you know, and tan people were the freaks. There's nothing wrong with having a fair complexion."

"Chris, I'm not going to disagree with you," Darren says with a laugh, reaching over to pat Chris's knee. "It's not fair. You know if I hadn't already waxed my chest--"

Chris waves his hand. "Yes, I know, everyone knows, because you won't stop reminding us. Go bother the girls about waxing and then see who has it hard, buddy."

Darren frowns down at his chest. Chris has a point, but shit, waxing _hurt._ As fun as it is to run his hands all over his chest now, it was like losing a furry friend. He told Chris about that once but Chris just laughed at him.

"I could always, you know, rip your shirt off in the passion of the scene."

Chris snorts. "It's not exactly a scene of raw passion, Darren. And do you really want to piss off Wardrobe? I saw the new rack of pants for Blaine."

"Oh god, no," Darren says in mock horror, but truth be told, he is a little scared of Wardrobe. He doesn't know what about his hobbit self says "put me in neon flood pants," but if he did he would change that part of himself immediately.

"It's fine," Chris says a few seconds later, sighing. "I'm just venting."

Darren flashes Chris what he hopes is an encouraging grin. "For what it's worth, I think you're totally hunky and television would be honored to see your guns."

"Aww," Chris coos, reaching out to pat Darren's cheek. "You're sweet." He looks up to where someone is motioning for them and shoves his water bottle back into his bag. "Now let's go have some hot teen sex."

"Right on," Darren says, hopping up from his chair.

-

"You know they're going to end up cutting all of this," Chris mumbles into the front of Darren's shirt, and Darren huffs out a short laugh. He's been trying not to move too much with Chris lying on his chest, but Chris doesn't seem to mind. He has his cheek resting on the middle of Darren's chest, his eyes occasionally falling closed long enough that Darren thinks he's trying to sneak in quick naps while the director talks something out with the crew. As far as downtime during filming goes, though, lying on a bed isn't so bad.

"Well they have to show _some_ of it. We've been kissing very chastely," Darren insists. It actually hasn't been easy, taming down the passion he usually wants to bring to their Kurt and Blaine scenes when there's more to do than make moony eyes. Darren only blushed a little the first time the director had them cut so he could tell Darren to stop making it so sexy. They were facing each other, then, and Chris had brought his hand up to cover his face while he snickered. The next take Darren came up with eskimo kisses in revenge.

"Gay is still gay, you know how the network is," Chris says. He doesn't sound particularly angry, though. Just a little resigned. It makes Darren get that sad, unsettled feeling in his stomach, thinking about how unfair it is even when the show is doing something most shows aren't, and he brings his arm up around Chris to rest on his back, rubbing slow circles. Chris hums, shifting on top of Darren to get more comfortable, and they stay like that for a minute until the director comes back.

"You taste like peppermint," Darren whispers later, when the camera is setting up to get them from another angle, and Chris smiles.

"That would be the peppermint I had earlier, genius. You're welcome, by the way."

"Thank you, from the bottom of my heart," Darren says with a smile, watching Chris lick his lips and feeling a familiar tug low in his stomach. It's not especially new, getting a little turned on when he's filming scenes like this with Chris (for as coy as he is about his personal life and sexual history, Chris is an _excellent_ kisser), but usually the atmosphere kills his boner fast enough. The crew is small today, though, and the set they're on is warm, the general tone overall is pretty relaxed. Darren watches Chris watching Darren's eyes when he licks his lips again and he thinks, _This isn't very conducive to killing awkward boners._

"You're thinking too hard," Chris mumbles, lips shining wet and pink.

"Yeah," Darren says. "I am."

-

Darren thinks it's a joke at first, but then it's not, and he's pressing Chris into the bed and waiting to be told that it's too provocative, that their lower bodies are too close. But it never comes.

"So we're just--"

"Slowly, and stop when I'm on top," Chris reminds him, his voice all business but his eyes soft and bright. "And no accidental biting, please."

Darren laughs, a little too loud, feeling more self-conscious on top of Chris like this than he felt as the camera was panning up his body earlier. He's at least half-hard, and Chris has to know, but he's being sweet and not ribbing Darren about it. At least not yet. "I promise to do everything in my power not to bite you."

"Oh, just-- shh," Chris says with a big grin on his face, and then filming starts and Chris is kissing him, leaning up and pressing their lips together hard, fingers holding tightly to the back of Darren's shirt, and it takes Darren a beat too long to remember what he's supposed to be doing.

It's weird, being so conscious of how a movement looks when he's done it a dozen times before in the bedroom minus the clothes, but he manages not to bite Chris as he rolls them over, so Darren thinks he does okay. Chris is on top now, and he uses the momentum to push harder into the kiss, hard enough that Darren opens his mouth in surprise and lets Chris kiss deeper. It's-- well, it's _hot_ , to say the least, and Darren knows there's no way in _hell_ it's going to air, but he lets his hands go from Chris's waist up to his neck, his hair, cupping his face and channeling his inner horny teenager. It's surprisingly easy.

"Cut," Chris laughs into Darren's mouth, and Darren pulls back like he's been stung. Oh _fuckballs_ , how did he not hear the director call cut? He's usually much better about that.

"Sorry," Darren says, staring up at Chris, but Chris just looks amused. He pats Darren's cheek as the director tells them that Darren's going to be rolling on top this time. Darren's already dreading it, just a little - he isn't any less hard and there's no way to avoid pressing their hips together when they flip, but he comforts himself by remembering it's totally mostly Chris's fault anyway. He deserves to feel some boner if he's going to kiss like that. Yeah.

"Mmf," Chris says against Darren's mouth once the scene starts, after Darren goes in a little too hard with the first kiss. He tries to soften it in apology, stroking over the hairs at the back of Chris's neck and letting him lead the kiss for the few seconds they have before they're meant to roll. Darren waits until the moment feels organic and then he carefully cradles the back of Chris's head and rolls them over, using one hand to brace himself while their bodies stay close and his other hand is still cupping Chris's head when it hits the bed. It's not the least awkward thing Darren's ever done but he thinks it works okay, and then they're picking up the pace of kissing again, with Darren tilting his head and rubbing his thumb over Chris's cheekbone as their lips slide together.

Darren hears the director call cut that time, thankfully. It takes Chris a second to open his eyes but when he does they're bright and gorgeous, like some kind of Disney magic shit, and Darren lets himself think, _Fuck, we are totally hot._ He smiles at Chris - beams, really - and Chris grins back, only a little suspicious, until they're given more direction.

They want Chris on top again. Of course they do, they always need multiple takes, but this time Darren is gritting his teeth at the thought of more friction on his dick.

"Stop it, you look pained," Chris whispers sternly, and Darren frowns. Chris rolls his eyes. "I'm serious, look happier. Yay, gay teen sex."

"Our pants are still on," Darren points out, and Chris pinches his side. Darren yelps. Truth be told, Darren actually likes this side of Chris - the teasing asshole side that's easier to mess around with - but he thinks the director won't appreciate it if they start wrestling. Or maybe he will, because seriously, who the fuck rolls around in all their clothes for a sex scene?

"Sorry, did I hurt you?" Chris asks a second later when Darren doesn't say anything else, and Darren shakes his head.

"No, you're perfect." Chris rolls his eyes again, mouth twitching, but Darren doesn't regret saying it. He wishes that pinch _was_ harder, actually, because then maybe it would have killed his fucking boner. Fuck.

The kissing for this take starts out about the same, heated in that familiar, almost comfortable way, but after Chris flips them, settling his hips down over Darren's, Darren gets an idea.

Darren has to give Chris credit for never missing a beat, his kisses consistent and sweet as Darren starts to slide his open palm up underneath Chris's shirt, taking a secret kind of delight in touching bare skin. Chris's skin is unbelievably soft, smooth and warm under his hand, and Darren's not really thinking anymore as the shirt gets rucked up, exposing lower back for the camera. Chris's breath hitches, then, hips pressing Darren's down harder into the bed almost imperceptibly, and then Darren _is_ thinking, but only about how he probably shouldn't be as into this as he is, _shit_.

Chris curls his hand into the strap of Darren's tank top, fingers clutching and tugging a little, and Darren wants to moan into the kiss but is thankfully saved by the director calling cut. Darren doesn't even want to know how hard he is right now. Fucking Glee.

"You okay, there?" Chris asks, voice pleasantly scratchy and lips shining wet, and Darren meekly slides his hands down to Chris's waist, settling over the top of his jeans and away from warm skin.

"Yeah, I'm doing great," Darren says in the least convincing way ever. The director tells them to stay put, of course, and Darren tilts his head back and tries not to squirm.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Chris asks cheerfully. Darren chokes out a laugh, looking back up at Chris. On top of someone is a good angle for him. Wow, Darren has to stop thinking.

"Uh, stuff," Darren says, ignoring the fact he's gone completely stupid just from kissing Chris Colfer. "How are you doing?"

"I'm actually really comfortable, thanks." Chris is smiling when he rests his cheek down on Darren's shoulder, and Darren can see his eyelashes move when he blinks. "I'm not sure why they thought rolling around was particularly sexy..."

"What, you don't roll around with all your clothes on when you're having sex?" Darren asks, and Chris snorts into his shoulder. "Because that's, like, the only way I'll do it. Either roll or go home."

"Stop," Chris says with a laugh, lightly smacking Darren's chest. "They're being awfully quiet back there. Can you see--?"

"Still talking," Darren confirms after looking up over to the director and the crew by him. "I guess they have no problem leaving their hunky actors lying on top of each other forever."

Chris grins, glancing up at Darren. "Sooo hunky," he says, squeezing his fingers a little around Darren's bicep. "Flex for me, baby."

"Okay, are you drunk?" Darren asks when Chris hides his face in Darren's neck, cracking up. "You totally had peppermint schnapps and got drunk for this scene, didn't you? You fucker."

"I'm not drunk, I'm _tired_. Shut up."

"Up too late rolling with someone?" Darren asks before he can stop himself, and Chris snorts. It's kind of adorable when he snorts.

"I wish I was getting my roll on," Chris mumbles. He shifts a little and lifts his head up from Darren's neck, peering down at him questioningly. "And how are you still hard? We've been talking forever."

Darren's mouth drops open but he quickly shuts it. "That's-- you can't just _ask_ someone why they're hard, Chris, god," Darren sputters out, but Chris just grins in a way that is decidedly evil.

"I can if I'm lying on top of him. Why are you hard, Darren? Am I that good of a kisser? Am I?"

Darren purses his lips, because there's no way he's saying yes and feeding Chris's already overwhelmingly healthy ego. "It's a character choice. I'm going method." Darren can feel his face heating up, oh god, he's fucking doomed.

"Oh, I see," Chris says, shoving his hips down a little and making Darren's eyes widen, his lips parting just before he catches his groan.

"You suck so fucking hard," Darren grits out just as the director tells them to do the same thing they've been doing, stopping with Darren on top this time.

The immature brat in Darren is tempted to bite Chris in revenge, but the fewer takes they have to do, the better. The kiss starts out slow and sweet, lips pressing together almost chastely until Chris tilts his head and pushes down a little harder, going for Darren's bottom lip and bracing himself as they roll over. Darren lifts himself up over Chris and keeps kissing, bringing one hand up to cup Chris's face because he knows how good it looks for the camera and because he's a tactile guy.

Darren can vaguely feel Chris's leg sliding over his - _that's_ new, and definitely not helping the boner situation - and then Chris sucks in a sharp breath, tilting his head back. Darren is suddenly _lost_ , because fuck, they never talked about kissing anywhere but lips. He goes with his instincts and lets his lips graze over the pale column of Chris's throat until the director calls cut a few seconds later, and Darren's letting his head fall down to Chris's neck, groaning.

"Not cool, man."

"Learn to improvise," Chris mumbles, petting absently at Darren's back. "How are you doing, buddy?"

"Are you talking to me or my dick?" Darren asks without lifting his head, and Chris laughs. It's more of a choked back giggle thing than a laugh and it's really fucking cute but Darren still hates him.

"Is there a difference?"

"I'd be so much nicer if you were the one with a boner, you know. I'd be fucking supportive."

Chris's face wrinkles up into a smile when he says, "It's too bad I'm not the one with a crush on your mouth, then." Darren gasps.

"I am completely indifferent to your mouth, you take that back."

Chris is laughing, tilting his head back with it. "Shut up, shut up. _Darren_."

"What?" Darren asks. Chris has stopped laughing but his eyes are still bright, his dimples showing. Sometimes looking at Chris makes Darren feel like he's been hit in the chest, in a really weird way. But a good way, too.

"C'mere," Chris breathes out, fingers sweeping softly over the back of Darren's neck, trying to bring his face closer, and Darren feels his stomach clench.

"Wha--"

"Shh." Chris still has his other hand fisted into the back of Darren's shirt, and he sits up a little, their noses brushing as Darren scrambles to move with Chris. Chris tilts his head a little, lips just skimming over Darren's, his breath warm and still decidedly pepperminty. "You'll thank me for this later," Chris whispers.

"I'll--" Darren starts, but then Chris is rolling a little and shoving Darren hard enough that he doesn't have time to catch himself before he's rolling right off the bed, yelping and landing on the floor in a heap. " _Ow._ What the _fuck_ , Chris Colfer?"

Chris peers down at Darren, biting his lip. "Oops."

Darren feels like his whole world has been turned upside-down, like everything he knows is a lie. The safety and comfort of Chris's arms is now tainted with the cold, hard floor and-- _why is he smiling_? "Wow, you are kind of a sadist, Christopher."

"Oh, stop," Chris says, and Darren waves off a few crew members who come over to see if he's okay. His ass hurts like a motherfucker but otherwise the fall wasn't too bad. "And you're welcome, by the way."

Darren glares. "Right, how silly of me to not thank you for pushing me--" He cuts off when Chris points to his lap, because that's more than a little weird, but when Darren glances down he realizes. Oh.

"Oh," Darren says, flushing stupidly. Thanks to the shock and pain of the fall, his boner is almost entirely gone. "You're still an asshole."

Chris leans on his elbows and smiles down at Darren from the bed. "Want me to kiss it better later, hon?"

"No," Darren snaps, his face flushing a little warmer at the mental images that puts in his head. "I don't need your-- no."

Chris is actually _cackling_ when the director asks, only a little annoyed, where his Kurt and Blaine went, and Chris gets up to help Darren up off the floor. He rubs his hand over Darren's back, biting back a smile when he asks in a hushed voice, "Do you think you can control yourself for the rest of the scene?"

"Oh my god," Darren says, squirming away from Chris. "You're the worst and I hate you."

"No you don't," Chris says, crawling back into the bed. "Or at least your _dick_ doesn't," he finishes as soon as Darren's close enough to hear it.

"I'm serious," Darren says, grudgingly settling himself back over Chris, who currently has the most evil look Darren's ever seen in his eyes, right up until the director calls action and he slips seamlessly back into Kurt, his eyes going wide and soft and his mouth turning up in a sweet smile. It's kind of impressive, but mostly just eerie.

"I hate you so much," Darren whispers against Chris's lips, and if he kisses a little harder starting out than he should, well, he's just trying to drive the point home.

 


End file.
